Category: expat-interview

every Sunday Paseo de la Reforma closed to motor vehicles. People ride their bikes on the multi-lane road.

To Mexico City, with love

AdaliaWhen I  spoke with Adalia in April 2017, she was living in Tegucigalpa. I was excited to catch up with her, now that she’s moved to Mexico City.

What are you up to in Mexico City?

I moved to Mexico City in July. I’ve been taking Spanish class and I’ve fallen into teaching English. I found a place that was looking for teachers and would help me get a visa. I’m teaching corporate clients, who tend to be pretty self-motivated students. This satisfies my desire to teach without the drama of teaching K-12. It’s not a new career, but it’s a good way to stay here legally while I figure out a longer-term career plan.

So what’s been your biggest challenge there?

I’m still wrapping my head around the traffic. It’s a consequence of cramming 20 million people into a metropolitan area. Driving just 2 miles can take about 2.5 hours. So I take the metro or the Metrobús instead of Uber, which is just going to sit in traffic. Even if it’s rush hour in the metro, I go ahead and squeeze in there with everybody else!

But my biggest challenge here by far was finding an apartment for me and my dog. If you’re willing to share a space, it’s fairly easy to find a really cheap place, but after trying that briefly I realized that it’s not for me. Very few people actually want to rent to people with a dog. So at first I stayed in a series of three AirBnBs. I booked the first one for a month sight unseen, which I shouldn’t have done, since it turned out to be not the best.

One-bedroom apartments are not very common here, maybe because Mexican families tend to be bigger, and young adults often live at home. So now I’m renting a furnished 2-bedroom apartment in Santa María la Ribera, which is close to the historic center. This neighborhood has potential to become the next Roma or Condesa, but for now it hasn’t been gentrified or filled with expats. Plenty of working class and middle class families live here.

I found my apartment on Craigslist, where most rental ads are geared towards foreigners, meaning it’s likely more expensive. But the building is only 5 years old, I didn’t have to buy a fridge; they even threw in a washer/dryer. Not having to buy furniture is a plus because even though I expect to be here at least a few years, there’s always a chance that I’ll want to go elsewhere sooner.

In Mexico City, most landlords ask you for a fiador — a cosigner who owns property in the city and is willing to vouch for you. Fortunately, my landlord didn’t require that. He just casually asked me, “So what do you do for work?” I gave first month’s rent and one month deposit.

Other than finding an apartment, though, I really can’t say that I’ve had major challenges here. Everything else is fairly easy. Compared to Tegucigalpa it’s a piece of cake.

overlooking the main central square in Mexico CityWhat do you do for fun?

I use Meetup and Facebook to find out what’s happening around town. There’s so much going on; I haven’t put a dent in my list of things to do.

I absolutely love Frida Kahlo’s Casa Azul and the surrounding neighborhood of Coyoacan. I did a food tour at Mercado Jamaica. It was so helpful to have somebody walk me around and explain ingredients and everything. There have been a bunch of trade fairs — an agave fest, a chocolate fair, with food vendors from all around Mexico. The week of the earthquake I was supposed to go a free Ricky Martin concert, also an art gallery open house. And I do a lot of just wandering around the city.

I’m going to southeast Asia next week for a couple of weeks, to Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia and hopefully Singapore. I’m a little sad I’ll be missing some events like Day of the Dead, but of course I’m looking forward to my trip!

So how was it to experience the earthquakes there?

As a geography teacher, I knew that Mexico City is tectonically active. In the back of my mind, I thought about what could happen if I get stuck on the metro during an earthquake. So I always carry water and snacks in my bag just in case. Still, I hadn’t really thought through what it meant that an earthquake could happen at any time. Being from Houston, I know how to prep for hurricanes and tornados, but I had no idea what to do in the case of an earthquake.

I was asleep when the first earthquake happened. And 12 days later, just two hours after we’d had an earthquake drill, the second earthquake hit. I was walking down the street and felt just a little movement in the ground. Then I looked up and noticed the windows of a car dealership bowing in and out. I hear that it felt much worse to people who were inside of buildings.

I ended up having to walk from the south of the city (where restaurants were still open) to the north. When I got to Roma, I started seeing loss of electrical power, building damage and active rescues. Condesa was really badly hit. I didn’t know what I would find when I got home, but it was business as usual. In my neighborhood, there was hardly any damage at all. The way that the community pulled together that was incredible.

Advice to women considering moving to Mexico City?

neighborhood in Mexico CityDo it!

Before you come for an extended stay, you probably should apply for temporary residency. You can’t even open a bank account without a residency visa.

Be sure to bring some really comfortable walking shoes. I average 4 or 5 miles a day!

Having some Spanish is good. Usually, I can make myself understood. But there have been very few places where I couldn’t communicate.

During wet season, (May through September/October) it rains a bit every day. It’s cooler than I expected in the morning and the evening. I have flannel sheets, which I’ve never needed before.

It sounds like you’re much happier where you are now.

In contrast to Tegucigalpa, there’s real street life here — people walking around, hanging out in cafes. My neighborhood is a little rough around the edges, but I haven’t felt unsafe. I’ve come home on the Metro at 10 pm and there are still people walking around and strolling through the park. Compared to other western countries, people might feel there are security issues. You’ll see the occasional armed guard. And there are some really rough areas of Mexico City, and I have no plans to visit them. But the sense of safety is much better here than in Honduras.

I feel like if I can live in Honduras, I can live anywhere. And it’s not that Tegucigalpa was so bad. It’s just that Mexico City is the kind of city I wanted to live in. I have the feeling that this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m very happy with my decision to come here. I’m having a blast.

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field with zebras, dirt road, clouds

On the edge of the Maasai Mara

Marilyn SorensenMarilyn is an expat in Kenya, building her life and business in a small city near the Maasai Mara National Reserve.

What’s your travel story?

I started coming to Kenya about four years ago. The first time, I was invited to come on a humanitarian trip. At the time, Kenya wasn’t even on my top 10 list. My visits got longer and more frequent. The presence of the people kept drawing me back to Kenya.

I love meeting people; I learn the best lessons through my relationships with others. I loved being fully present with people who are fully present with me. As I kept coming back to Kenya, I made connections and doors kept opening up for me. I started hosting my own trips.

Once I declared I was going to move to Kenya, things really did fall into place. I’m not a big city kind of girl, so I chose not to live in Nairobi. Narok is a smaller city, which doesn’t have as many amenities as Nairobi, but I still have good internet access, which I need for my business. And I knew some people here; it’s important for me to have people to hang out with it.

What do you do there?

I host cultural immersion trips called Soul Safaris through my business, Marilyn Knows. We do two-week projects in the community. Everything we do is sustainable, where the community has a say in what we do and they will sustain the project afterwards. People here can lead projects and they can draw on me as a resource. I can be “on purpose” here in ways that have immediate, profound effects. Money goes a lot further in this country.

We do anything that helps, like tree planting or a water service project. For example, there are generally not hand-washing stations set up at schools; so we install Tippy Taps. We’ve done  empowerment workshops for girls on body awareness, moon cycles, and goal setting. Libraries are rare here, so we’ve started a couple of libraries. Sometimes I bring midwives who knowledge-share with the Maasai. We’ll go the elephant orphanage or the giraffe center. And then at the end we go on safari, which enables us to get up close and personal with the animals.

I’ve also helped women here start businesses that really support them and pay for their kids’ school fees. I support Days for Girls, hand-made, washable menstrual kits that enable girls to not miss days at school. Staying in school can help girls avoid early marriage and female genital mutilation, which is still prevalent in Narok County.

What’s it’s like there?

elephants enjoying the shade of a tree in KenyaI’m near the Maasai Mara National Reserve, which juts up against Serengeti National Park in Tanzania. Right now we’re in high season, which is when the crossing of the wildebeests occurs. Millions of wildebeests and zebras are crossing the Serengeti river . It never gets old; it’s always fascinating.

Kenyans start the day pretty early, like 6 a.m. An hour-long walk to school is not uncommon. There are no washers or dryers here, so I have someone come and clean and do my laundry, which costs about $5/week. I’ll walk into town. Most Kenyans walk or take a motorcycle taxi for 50 cents, or a vehicle for $1.

What’s the food like there?

Everything is local, fresh, and simple. Kenya is very lush and green, so pretty much anything can grow year-round here: avocados, watermelon, tomatoes. Typical foods are kale, spinach, cabbage, rice and beans. There are different kinds of mangos, so one of them is almost always in season. In my county, a lot of wheat, maize and potatoes are grown. There are lots of cattle and sheep.

I eat very Kenyan, which has been incredibly healthy for me. I’ve dropped a fair amount of weight while being here. Also, the food here has more taste! The mangos and avocados, even the onions, are the best I’ve ever tasted.

Everything is cooked, so no salads! Most Kenyans spend a fair amount of time cooking. Ugali is a kind of doughy bread that you use to scoop up your meal. Githeri is a heavy dish of red beans, corns and sometimes peas boiled together. I modify it to be something like chili. Food is fairly bland here. I’ve learned to bring back spices on my trips away. When I cook for someone here, they often ask me to please not “put so many flavors in!”

The Maasai live on meat, milk and blood. Kenyans drink a lot of milk, but not cheese or butter. So cheeses are hard to find, and pork is hard to find and expensive.

What do you like best about being there?

The Maasai is one of the oldest tribes on the planet. The pace is so different, and there’s less resistance to connection. Kenyans have taught me patience, to enjoy a different pace of life.  The slower pace. People being fully present with you. Some of my favorite days are sitting with my neighbors, shucking huge bags of peas.

Among the other things I like: We don’t have much light pollution. I love the way Kenyans speak. They speak in parables; it’s very poetic.  I’m curvy, goddess-sized girl, which is more accepted here. Also, health care is so much more affordable here, and there are quite a few state of the art medical facilities, particularly in Nairobi.

What are some of your biggest challenges there?

Dust: Houses here are made of cement and block, and the windows are open because we don’t have air conditioning. So it gets dusty. Kenyans do a pretty solid housecleaning daily. They clean their shoes and their clothes often.

Connectivity: Internet and power sometimes go out. I have to make sure my solar panel is fully charged. It helps me stay connected to my adult daughter, who lives in the States. It’s still hard.

Kenya tends to be loud country in some ways. Much of the time, you hear donkeys, cattle, birds. And then other times, it’s really, really loud. In public transportation, there’s always music blaring. There’s a pop-up church across the street from me; the loudspeaker starts playing music at 6 a.m. on Sunday. Living in cement buildings with the windows open, sound really travels. I have a fan in my bedroom, which helps.

Traffic can be a patience builder, even in my town. There are a lot of political rallies that can slow things down.

There’s a bit of a caste system here. White people are considered on the top automatically. But Mzungu (white people) are not so common in my town.

I didn’t have a fridge or a stove my first year here. I had one little gas burner, so everything I ate was fresh. Now I have a two-burner stovetop and a small fridge, but still no oven. I miss my Crockpot and my Vitamix. And I miss bathtubs something fierce!

What’s it like for you to be a minority?

At first it was really tricky. People would just about break their necks, trying to take a look at me. I definitely stick out. It was quite a few weeks before I saw someone else who was not Kenyan.

In America I have never been considered white. As a kid in rural Utah with no other people of color, I stuck out. I’m brown; I’m a dash of Hispanic and Native American, a pinch of that. Still most people think I’m Hispanic or Greek. I consider myself a global citizen.

What’s your social life like now?

Being places where everyone speaks Swahili was an adjustment at first. There are 43 tribes; so most Kenyans speak English, Swahili, their mother tongue and one or two tribal languages. Now I’m very used to it. And now I speak some Maasai, which my sweetheart has been teaching me.

There are fairly lonely times here. In the States, I was used to going to networking events, lunch dates. There’s not really any night life here. Most often it’s my neighbors, my landlady. It’s been refreshing to meet my butcher, and the people I buy my produce from. I’ve learned a lot from some of my taxi drivers and their family members, being involved in school activities.

There are about 20 expats who live in this area and I sometimes hang out with them. The cultural norm is married people hang with married people and people hang out with their age-mates. There’s lot of separation of the sexes. I met my sweetheart during my travels through a cousin of his. We sparked up a friendship and it grew from there.

Kenya is definitely a bible-based country. Church is a social hub. Religion fascinates me, but I’m more spiritual than religious. It can be a bit uncomfortable, but it helps me get clear on my beliefs.

I’ve decided that I need to go to Nairobi at least once a month, even if it’s just for a day or a weekend. The nearest movie theater is about 2.5 hours from where I live, so I can’t just hop in a car and go to a movie. In Nairobi can go to the movies, go to a mall, have real pizza or a gelato, and just experience some things that are familiar.

What are some things that are very different from the States?

We have a common law marriage, with a wedding coming in the near future. Some of the elders would prefer not to see cohabitation out of marriage.

Kenyans often inherit and own quite a bit of land, as compared to Americans. Men can have hundreds of acres of land in Maasai culture.

Maasai do have quite a few nuances that I had to learn. Public displays of affection are not really acceptable here; the Maasai elders could even fine you for it. In public, sipping out of my sweetheart’s soda, now everyone would be looking to see if he drank after me, which would make him submissive, or eating off of his plate or him eating off of mine. Masai believe you should spit at a baby before you pick it up so it won’t be cursed.

What advice do you have for women thinking about moving abroad?

Make sure you have international health insurance, so you’re covered no matter where you travel in the world.

Also, I highly recommend joining Internations. It gives you access to every international chapter in the world. They have a lot of great subgroups (foodie, hiking, moms, business building, dancing). It’s enabled me to connect with people prior to going anywhere. You can get advice on wifi recommendations, phone service in different countries, what areas are affordable and safe. It’s so nice to have a little connection with someone, people that you can speak with, who are locals but not natives.

What’s next for you?

Kenya is a great hub for international travel. I’ve set my business up so I can be much more mobile and global. So in the next year, I’ll be traveling to a couple more countries, staying two months at a time. I can get great flight deals to India, Morocco, Dubai. I’d love to go to South Africa, Ghana, Egypt, Bali, Turkey, Greece. But Kenya will likely be my home base for the foreseeable future.

beach with aquamarine water in Cape Verde. Photo by Joli Moniz

Return to Cape Verde, her happy place

Joli in the middle of a crowdJoli lives in the island nation of Cape Verde, in the capital city of Praia. She’s lived there for about 5 years–and it feels like home to her.

What’s your travel story?

I have family roots here. Like so many others, my great-grandparents left Cape Verde because of a period of drought in Cape Verde. So many people here want to go to the States or to Europe, just to survive. And then again, lots of people who left dream of coming back here, but it’s not always feasible.

I grew up in New England with an awareness of and a love of Cape Verdean culture. We had Cape Verdean art around the house, Cape Verdean music, traditional Cape Verdean meals. I learned a few words and phrases in Kriol. When I was 14 we came here on a family trip. That changed everything for me; I fell in love with Cape Verde.

I loved the dry terrain. It was a blessing of being African American but knowing where I was from, having such a strong cultural link. We went another time for a conference, and my sister and I visited when we were young adults. But two or three weeks was not enough to learn the language. I always said I’d come back for longer, at least for a summer, but I always had jobs that didn’t allow me to travel for a long time.

How did you make the decision to move abroad? When did you know it was time to make that leap?

rough grass, sand with mountains in the background

Deserto de Viana on the island of Boa Vista

I was in my mid-30s; I’d been in a career for 10 years. I loved it but I needed a change. I was working in administration at a private school in Westchester County, N.Y. The next logical step would have been to become head of a division and eventually Head of School — but I didn’t want that.

I was also very much in love and engaged to marry a guy I’d been with for about eight years. The next steps would’ve been buying a house in Westchester county and starting a family. I’ve always wanted to live abroad, and I have this entrepreneurial bug. My fiancé was more cautious, more frugal. I kept putting off taking any risks.

Two months before the wedding, I realized that the life I was about to have was not the life I wanted. I felt like I was about to let go of my dreams forever by trying to do the practical, “smart” thing. I was afraid of putting everything that I’m passionate about on hold. So I called off the wedding.

And then I told my boss that I wasn’t going to sign the contract for the next year. I’d been dragging my feet about signing; I didn’t know why. I just couldn’t see another year there. I just couldn’t see it.

Then I thought: I’m not getting married; I don’t have a mortgage. I realized I was free, that I could live anywhere I wanted. I tried to visualize where I would go. California? I don’t like the culture. Chicago? Too cold. And then it hit me: I could go to Cape Verde! I’m free to take that leap. I thought if I don’t take that leap right now, I’ll never do it.

I was nervous about telling my family. My dad is obsessed with Cape Verde; he’s come back like 30 times. I knew he’d be happy for me. He’s also a dreamer, a left brain. My mom is more the practical one. But she accepted it immediately which surprised me and assured me that I had made the right decision. They also supported my decision about the wedding, because they saw I was putting myself first for the first time in my life.

Three months later, I’d finished out my contract at school, undone all of the wedding plans and moved to Cape Verde. My plan was to press the reset button, to come learn the language, to get away for a year or so. But once I go here, I did not want to leave.

What’s life and culture like in Cape Verde?

The culture is so beautiful and so multi-faceted; I’m still learning about it. The music is amazing; I can’t get enough of it. For such a tiny country, there are so many genres! And the language on every island is unique.

Consider coming someplace where you are valued and where you can feel safe.I love seeing brown people, people everywhere who look like me, black people owning property and businesses, running things. It’s so refreshing to have a majority experience, after going to and working in predominantly white schools and growing up in New England. I love not having to explain myself, to be around other folks who get me.

The weather is so nice most of the year. It’s never cold; there’s an ocean breeze. The water everywhere is beautiful. If I want a change of scenery, I can jump in the car and go to the countryside, or fly or take a boat to another island.

The quality of life is great. People here make time for each other. And you have the time to relax. Here, family is everything; family comes first. What really matters is the priority here: family, friendship, health.

The first settlement, Cidade Velha, was the first port in the tropic, the start of the triangular slave labor trade. So if you’re black and American, there’s a good chance that your ancestors came through these islands.

What are some of your biggest challenges?

It’s not always easy here, especially if you come as an immigrant and don’t know the language. You have to have three things to thrive here:

    1. You have to be passionate about it.
    2. You have to be persistent.
    3. You have to be patient. Cape Verde is pretty organized for a developing country, but there’s still a lot of bureaucracy, a lot of paper pushing; everything has to be stamped, signed and stapled. Nothing here is easy or fast. Don’t expect to send an email and get the job done. You have to go someplace in person, maybe twice or three times! That can be frustrating. You have to learn and let it go. The bank visit is not going to be the most efficient; a lot of times it’s crowded and moves slowly. I’ve learned to take a ticket, go grocery shopping and come back.

As an aside, the pay is low, so if you can find a way to make dollars or Euros you will be much better off.

But the things I love about Cape Verde far outweigh these things.

How did you start your business?

a fisherman sits in a boat floating on bright blue waterI’d been hosting friends and family who’d come to visit Cape Verde and check in on me. I loved showing people around. Several months after I came here, a friend asked me, “Have you ever thought about doing this for a living?”

I’d started to realize that I might not want to leave Cape Verde. So that summer, I started working on my business. I formalized everything, and opened it up. I posted about it on social media, taking photos, promoting Cape Verde as a positive, beautiful place. I have a staff person now to help me with the business.

Everything that I love, I’m trying to put into my business. I’m creating a virtual gift shop as a way to support Cape Verdean artists and promote local businesses. And I’ve been arranging short-term rentals and helping some clients, first and second generation Cape Verdeans (and some Europeans and Americans) who want to buy property here.

I think Cape Verde is a perfect destination. On a practical level: It’s small, well-governed. You don’t need vaccinations; tourists can get a visa upon entry. It’s beautiful; the people are friendly. People come here and fall in love with it.

What’s your social life like now? How do you meet people?

I meet people easily here; that’s how Praia is. I have so many social opportunities. Cape Verdeans love to party. Almost every weekend there’s a festival–I’m not exaggerating! Every night you can hear live music, and people really dance here .

People are social and friendly. When you walk into a restaurant, you always greet the people sitting there. It’s all about family; everybody has kids. There are always weddings, baby showers, birthday parties. If you’re having a party there’s no thought of keeping the guest list small. That’s the African culture; it’s very community based. We’ll just be together and enjoy each other’s company.

Also, it’s small. Praia is the capital; it’s bigger than the other towns, but you can expect to bump into people you know when you go to the gas station, the store. This can be a good or a bad thing, depending.

In the more touristy areas, people speak English, but it’s better if you can learn some Kriol. I’ve learned Kriol by just living here and paying attention while I’m riding in taxis, going to stores, hearing people on the street, listening to music. I had my index cards just to get by. People are so nice and patient, especially if you make an effort. Like my dad told me: Drink a little grogue, find a boyfriend, and you’ll be speaking Kriol real fast!

Are you dating? What’s that like?

There are beautiful black men everywhere! It seems like it’s a great dating pool. It’s a critical mix of African and Portuguese. People here love to be in love. They’re very passionate. I found that guys in the States are hesitant and resistant to love and relationships. Here, men are much more comfortable showing their emotions and being affectionate. They fall in love faster; they don’t have that fear of commitment.

However, most of the men are not faithful–and that’s very important for me. There are still some good men who are all about their women, their family; it’s not impossible. But a lot of those men are already married.

A few decades ago, the culture was more traditional; women stayed at home and were financially dependent on a man. Now in the city, there are independent women with good jobs. Women don’t have to put up with a bad marriage if they don’t want to. Now, it’s not uncommon for women to cheat.

There’s no stigma at all here for divorce and separation. Non-traditional families and common law marriages are very common here. Children are always a blessing. So even if you have three children as a woman, it’s easy to find a new man.

My first boyfriend here had to move to a different island for work, and I didn’t want to live there. Then for about two years, I was involved with a younger guy, but we eventually called it quits.

How does it feel to be an American there? Do people ask you about our current president?

People do recognize what a catastrophe the current state of U.S. politics is. But America still has a positive image because of President Obama, and because there are more Cape Verdeans in America than there are here! Lots of successful immigrants have gone to the States and send back money to their families.

I’m very much American as well. I love that country; I’m grateful for the opportunities that it gave me. I see so many smart talented people here who have limitations. I have so many advantages because of my passport.

I am devastated by the current state of the U.S. It makes me appreciate Cape Verde more. I’m so glad to be here now; I just wish my family were here with me.

What’s next for you?

mountain with treetops

Pico do Fogo, Cape Verde’s highest peak

My business is enough to keep me busy. I’m starting to offer package trips that include another African country, like Cape Verde and Senegal; Cape Verde and Ghana, etc. If my clients’ real estate purchases work out, I can help manage the properties, decorate them. So I plan on doing more of the same, expanding my business and traveling the world more.

I want to have a base here for life. My dad has a piece of land here that we’re looking into building on. My ideal situation would be more back and forth between here and the States. I can communicate with my friends and family back home, but I’ve missed some big important events. I don’t get to see my nieces and nephews as often as I like. And I’d like to be a mom, somehow, some way.

Sometimes I think I need to ship over all of my furniture and my art collection from the States. I’ve lived in different places, and this is the only place I’ve truly felt at home. It still happens to me a lot that I look around at where I am and I thank God and the universe for bringing me here.

Where you can find Joli

Learn more about Cape Verde

Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi

Leaving Abu Dhabi: When the good life is not enough

Maya in the desertDuring the past two years, Maya has built an active, fun-filled life in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). She has a comfortable position at a university — but she’s decided it’s time to move on.

What’s your travel story?

I’ve always wanted to live abroad. My father was in the military, so as a small child I lived in Germany. I traveled a lot as a young adult; I went to Swaziland and other African countries in college. And once I became a nurse, I had the income to support my travel habit.

I came to the UAE on a birthday trip to visit a friend who was living here. Right away I found this place to be amazing. It’s new, clean, and safe. Everything is 5-star — the hotels, the restaurants.

I met someone who is a nurse working for an American university here. I sent her my resume, then met her for coffee. Once I had that conversation with her, it kind of made my mind up. I decided, “I’m going to do this.” Then I had an interview with the director, and they offered me the job.

But then it took months to get the paperwork done! They had to make sure I could get licensed here. They also had to do a background screening for my security clearance. It was a stressful time because I was in Philadelphia waiting for everything to clear and my job there was wondering if I was staying or going. I was also in a long-term relationship that wasn’t working. Seven months later, I finally got my official offer to work in the university’s student health clinic.

It’s so different from the U.S., but because of the infrastructure and high quality of living, I figured it would be easy to transition to working abroad here. That turned out not to be true!

What made your transition challenging?

I arrived towards the end of Ramadan. Like a lot of countries in this region, the UAE totally shuts down during Ramadan. I was also working, so I only had a couple of hours a day to look for housing. I’d never experienced anything like it. It felt like nothing was getting done.

There are a lot of 3-bedroom apartments that were built to attract more families to this area. So it was hard to find a 1-bedroom. Thankfully, my employer connected me with a couple of realtors who helped me find properties within my housing allowance.

The real estate market moves really quickly. Once you find a place you like, you have to put down a deposit (in cash) immediately or it will be gone. One time, even after I gave place a deposit, they later told me to come pick up my deposit; they’d given the apartment away to someone else. So frustrating!

It’s pretty expensive compared to Dubai or even Philly, I think because there’s less real estate available. It’s about $2700 for a 1-bedroom apartment; that’s more than my 3-bedroom house in Philly.

What’s the difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai?

Abu Dhabi and Dubai are two of the seven emirates that make up the UAE. Each emirate has its own ruling family. The city of Abu Dhabi is the capital of the UAE, and the Emir of Abu Dhabi is also the President of the UAE.

Dubai is a center for tourism. People go there to party, to shop in the high-end malls, to see the Burj Khalifa tower and other attractions. You don’t see people in traditional clothes there. People there tend to dress a lot less modestly, some foreigners might even be more scantily clad.

I live in Abu Dhabi, which is about an hour from Dubai. It’s more family-oriented, less touristy than Dubai. In Abu Dhabi, you feel more like you’re surrounded by local people. Women here wear the abaya (a sort of shapeless dress) and the shayla (headscarf) outside the home. Men will wear the all-white kandora.

waterway in Abu Dhabi, UAE


What are some of the things you like best about being in the UAE?

I love the 5-star life! I have more access to these amazing restaurants in fancy hotels . They have coupons, like a buy-one/get-one entree, and other deals to attract expats. I’m living a better, spoiled life, indulging in a lot of things that I wouldn’t at home.

I live on the Corniche — the main road where the beach is. Literally, if I walk across the street from my building, the beach is right there. It’s pretty central to the main attractions, like Emirates Palace. It’s a newer building in an older neighborhood of high rises. It’s connected to an international hotel, which is pretty common here. So we have our own pool, but we share the gym with the hotel. There are three restaurants. I have a doorman, which helps me feel comfortable and safe.

In addition to my salary, my employer gives me a flight home every year, time off, and a housing allowance; pretty much everyone here gets a housing allowance. I get to pocket more money than I would in the States. A lot of people travel around the region. I’ve been to Lebanon and Morocco. It’s not that far to go for the weekend.

There’s a large expat community. The government is trying to entertain us to keep us here. It’s almost like a playground for us. I go out a few nights during the week and on the weekend.  I went to Arabic classes at first, but I dropped them because they were interfering with my social life! People think we don’t drink here, but we do lots of happy hours with free champagne, free cocktails for ladies. They do brunch big here, with lots of drinks.

It’s Sharia law here. So If you’re Muslim, you’re not supposed to drink. Public displays of drunkenness are illegal. If you’re an expat, you need to get a liquor license to purchase alcohol. Even to serve alcohol to guests in your home you need to have a liquor license. When you apply for it, they review your salary, which determines how much alcohol you can purchase.

What are some of your biggest challenges there?

Dating out here is stressful. We do have Tinder, Bumble and Happn. I use Tinder a lot to meet people. Everybody out here is on Tinder, including some of my co-workers (yikes!) But it’s sometimes depressing because it’s the same stuff I was dealing with back home.

There are a lot of men here, but everyone is in transition. They’re not here long-term, so they’re not thinking of having anything serious. I have heard of the rare cases of people meeting their spouse here. But generally, it’s just a date, to have a good time. People don’t want to invest in real friendships, either.

There’s prostitution here. There are a lot of women from the African diaspora and the Philippines here who work in that industry. Being a black woman, I sometimes get a look that makes me feel like they think I’m a working girl. That’s why I would never sit at a bar alone or eat out alone here; I feel like it could get uncomfortable really fast.

Another thing: There’s a big separation between expats and local people. I have no local Emirati friends, which is not what I was thinking would happen when I came here. The university students are local, but my colleagues and friends are expats. That’s one of my biggest regrets, that I haven’t been able to meet more local people.

[Note: Emiratis constitute only about 10% of the UAE population.]

What’s next for you?

I moved here in May 2015, and I’m leaving next month. I’m going back to the States, but I’m not going back permanently. This is just an opportunity for me to push the reset button.

I love travel,  and I like nice things, and I’m so comfortable here, but unfortunately there’s no professional growth for me here. My employer has given me a pretty sweet deal. Looking around I’m only seeing things here that might be a worse situation for me, not better.

There are only two places in the world where nurses make money: the United States and the Middle East. These countries are pulling in expats to do health care jobs and teach at medical schools. Anywhere that there’s a universal health care structure, they’re not paying as well. And I would need to do nursing in a place that uses the technology that I’ve been trained on.
Australia might be a possibility — but it’s so far! I want to be able to get back home to family easily if need be.

I love this travel life and I’m hoping to figure out some kind of remote work. I’ve had the goal since college of living somewhere in Africa. I’m looking into the possibilities. I’m stepping out on faith to create a life where travel is more central. I see myself living 6 months in the U.S., and 6 months abroad.

What’s your advice for women who want to move abroad?

You have to get away from your fear. In the beginning, I was very afraid. Then I talked to myself and realized: I have the skill set. I’ll be all right.

There are great things about living abroad. I love my life here. Professionally, I didn’t see myself going anywhere, but I’m so happy I did this for myself.

There’s crime and crazy people everywhere, but if you have that interest, make a plan and go for it. Always have a backup plan! And don’t be afraid of coming back home to regroup.

You can find Maya on Instagram at coffy_oliver.

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