Lisbon cityscape with red tile roofs

She loves Lisbon, but she’s dreaming of Mexico

Justine PattantyusJustine Pattantyus coaches people through major life transitions. She spoke to me from Lisbon, Portugal, as she was embarking on a major life transition of her own.

What’s your travel story?

My family is from Hungary, most of extended family is there. My grandparents were refugees in the U.K. until my grandfather got hired by an engineering firm in the U.S. in 1963. My dad was in the U.S. army. I was born in Germany, but we moved back to the States when I was really young. As a girl, I read Nat Geo and books about travel. I’ve always been fascinated by the world.

But I didn’t travel (except for Canada) until my junior year in college when I went to Australia for a field study in sustainability and the environment. And the next year I got a scholarship to go to the UAE to study women’s leadership, and to Eastern Europe (Prague, Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest), where I got to visit my extended family.

How do you support yourself?

After college I worked on a project helping children to eat better. I worked a couple of corporate jobs, but didn’t like that. Then I started my own business, and met my boyfriend who had started his own location-independent business in the Philippines. I was inspired to see the world on my own terms. Not just for short jaunts, but to be embedded in the culture.

I joined the Dynamite Circle, a membership community for business owners who work from everywhere. It took me about a year to be sure I could continue to provide a high level of service to my clients while I was abroad. In that time, I talked to other people who have clients in different parts of the world, to learn what I needed to have in place to be successful. That helped me build my confidence. I started shifting client expectations. They need to know that even if I’m available to that only at certain times, I’m no less responsive or supportive than before.

Before, I was doing business management; now I’m doing individual coaching, helping business owners step through a door of change. I help them align internally and reorient externally so that what they want to occur becomes inevitable. I’m happy that my clients have all achieved what they set out to achieve!

How did you decide on Lisbon?

My boyfriend and I have friends in Portugal who kept encouraging us to come. We hadn’t considered Portugal, but as soon as we researched it, it sounded great. The food is great; it’s sunny, affordable, with beautiful beaches.

We booked our flights and applied for resident visas. With this type of visa, you needed to show that you have a way of supporting yourself without needing a job. You can stay for a year and you can extend the visa for 2 years. It’s a bit of a process: You have to write a letter of intent; send all your tax forms; show proof that you earn at least $50,000/U.S. a year and don’t need a job in Portugal; send your fingerprints, FBI background checks, proof of traveler’s health insurance. We got approved while we were here.

We’ve been in Portugal for 49 weeks, a bit shy of a year.

What do you like best about Lisbon?

I’ve traveled to probably 40 American states and been to a lot of cities; Lisbon is way up there, easily in my top three. It’s about the same size as Boston, but with much better weather! Even in the winter, you get a bit more rain but it’s still so nice.

It’s so laid-back; there’s a great sense of hospitality and people take pride in their country. Every cab or Uber driver or restaurant owner asks me, “How is Lisbon treating you? How do you like it?” I’ve enjoyed it so much.

Lisbon has a strong sense of identity. There so much history, street art, great restaurants. It’s like there’s an unwritten invitation from the city, “I am who I am, so just show up and be who you are.”

I live a 10-minute walk to the train. I can ride 40 minutes to the beach for $2. I live a 15-minute walk to my favorite park. There are great dentists and doctors. I’m a 25-minute walk from some of the major attractions in the city.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel not having a car. I’ve really enjoyed it. Now freedom is being able to walk out of my door and end up anywhere I want to. The cost of living is great here. I can have a fully stocked fridge for like $60. I live in the city center, in a relatively more expensive spot . We pay 1000 euros/month, which includes water, internet, plus a once-a-week house cleaner!

Just walking around Lisbon, there are always new things to discover: shops, staircases, great little squares with food kiosks where you can get little sandwiches, espresso, sangria. A lot of bands come through town. Look out points are often places where bands or musicians play. There are tons of excellent restaurants, and it feels very, very safe here.

Some favorite spots: The Oceanário (aquarium) and the São Jorge Castle. Taking the train to the beach and renting a bike and taking the bike path out to a far beach. Taking the train to Sintra, where there’s a national park that’s gorgeously lush and forested, with beautiful hiking spots, and a Moorish castle.

People here don’t live to work; they definitely live! There are lots of classes, like pole dancing and salsa. And coffee shops. And wandering to the park with a blanket and relaxing. Lots of families with kids walking around. There are festivals throughout June, when people are dancing and grilling in the streets. You can even see it in the coffeeshops. They’re don’t ask you to pay right away; you hang out and enjoy yourself. They assume if you’re taking the table, you’re there for the evening.

What are some of your biggest challenges there?

People do not clean up after their dogs! You have to keep watching for dog poop while you walk. And a lot of people smoke, so there’s smoke out on the street (though not inside most restaurants). And in the touristy areas, you’ll have people coming up to you trying to sell you drugs. Drugs are decriminalized here (I think all of them were, back in the 1970s). And by the way, this country has some of the lowest drug issues.

But really, these things don’t bother me much. There’s not much I don’t like.

What’s your social life like? How do you meet people there?

There are a couple dozen people here from our business owner friends group. I meet people through them mostly. People use MeetUp here a lot, and Facebook groups. Going to the yoga studio and dance classes and co-working spaces puts me in contact with people I have things in common with.

I’ve met some people through International Women in Lisbon. And there’s a great Creative Mornings group here. It’s a social/learning event where creative people get together; there’s a talk on a topic of interest.  About 50 people show up, there’s breakfast and it’s free.

About 75% of my friends are expats. I speak a very little bit of Portuguese. In Lisbon everybody speaks English; in fact if you try to speak in Portuguese people will often switch over to English.

What’s next for you?

We could have extended our visas for another two years, but the world is a big place!

To help decide where to go next, we used Nomad List, a website where you can do research on different locations. We plugged in our criteria: not a big city, somewhere tropical on the beach, relatively safe with decent internet.

So later this month, we’re leaving Lisbon for Playa del Carmen, Mexico. We plan to live in Mexico for the rest of 2017. We have an AirBnB there for the first two weeks. After we get there, we’ll start looking for a more long-term apartment. I have contacts for real estate agents there, and I’ve joined about five Playa nomads groups on Facebook, which are super helpful for finding things like furniture and motorbikes.

Any advice for women who want to move abroad?

It’s been really helpful for me to have a network that I can reach out to for clarification on things like visas, living situations, working with client schedules and more. So build some kind of network for yourself, if you can.

And get clear on your level of desire to move. If you really know that you want to be abroad, if it’s only a matter of if, not when, then what are the sticking points? What are the foundational pieces that need to be clarified and handled, so that it becomes a yes?

Once those pieces are handled, take the leap and figure the rest out as you go.

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view of ocean and rocky island from a sailboat

Out to Sea: Sue’s amazing life on the ocean

Sue Gearan has created an amazing life on the ocean and a career around her passion for sailing. She runs a yacht chartering company and plans domestic and international yacht charters and travel for clients.


Sue GearanSo how did this sailing life start for you?

My folks have had a sailboat since I was about 17. I did some sailing with my college in Massachusetts, and my roommate interned with a yacht chartering company. She suggested I might like to work for them. So I went over and introduced myself, and soon I was selling corporate charters out of Boston. I also sold Caribbean vacations. This was in the 90s, when companies were spending lots of money on things like this.

I went to boat shows to inspect boats and meet the crews. On one of those trips I met my boyfriend. He was looking into getting us jobs on a sailboat. So I took a local cooking class and ended up moving onto a boat later that year. I spent 14 years doing that. I worked on catamarans in the British Virgin Islands, things like that.

I worked for a prominent CEO, cooking on his private yacht. He was a great employer, such a kind guy. (I cooked for Martha Stewart on that boat. It was daunting to say the least; luckily, it was just hors d’oeuvres!)

After doing that for several years, I was tired of being in the service industry, and I was getting older. So I teamed up with my original employer (Carol Kent) at her chartering company, and now I put together yacht vacation charters in New England and the Caribbean.

I also work independently as a global yacht concierge. It started because I was doing a lot of favors for people — writing resumes, consulting, travel planning. I like helping people, but I decided to charge for the favors I’d been doing for people for a long time.

I wear a bunch of different hats. I help out boat owners, captains of yachts, CEOs of startups thinking of getting into sailing. I also do day chartering. It keeps me well rounded in the business. I have a good grasp on the industry; I’m somewhat an expert in yachting.

What kind of travel do you do? 

I’ve traveled around quite a lot for work and otherwise. On my most recent trip I was in Antigua, St. Thomas, Tortola, and Fort Lauderdale. I went to meet the crew and see the boats. I’m probably going to Croatia this spring; their yacht week is a big event in the summer. And in between I sneak in my own trips. For example, after Christmas, I’m going to Ireland with my dad. (He recently became a dual citizen and he’s been able to connect with distant cousins thanks to ancestry.com and Facebook and other random connections. It’s pretty cool.)

I love to travel by myself. I’ve gone all over. I didn’t do the college backpacking thing; so I got started a bit late, once I hit my late 30s, as my friends started to get married and have kids.I want to travel as much as I can while I’m still young. For my 40th birthday, I went to India and Nepal by myself. I trekked in Annapurna. It was so great because you don’t have to negotiate with anybody about what you do from day to day, where you go. I thought, “Oh my gosh! Why did I not do this before?” I love it, love it, love it.

I’d love to go on the Trans-Siberian railway, from Russia to China through Mongolia. Turkey was high on my list, but now the sailing event is probably canceled there for now. Egypt, Jordan, Bali and Tahiti are all on my list of places I’d love to go.

I recently went on a 10-day trip to the Galapagos, on a 140-foot yacht with a bunch of other travel brokers. It was all expenses paid (except for tips), including hotels in Ecuador, really luxurious accommodations, all the meals. It was an opportunity to familiarize myself with what a charter client would experience so I can sell it. Now I can talk about each island, the food, everything. It makes a big difference to have first-hand experience because people are spending a lot of money on a trip like this. I can answer their questions honestly because I’ve done the trip myself.

What are some of your favorite places?

I spent about a month on a boat in Cuba several years ago. It was one of the best places I’ve ever been. Fortunately, because there are lots of restrictions there around who can do what in the ocean, many of the ecosystems around Cuba are extremely well-preserved. You can’t just come in with a private company with dive gear.

The Caribbean reefs on the other hand are ruined. It’s shocking. In the British Virgin Islands, I could not believe the state of the ocean and the reefs. The reef itself it is not as prominent; I think a lot of it has died off. And there’s not as much sea life as I remember from when I first started spending time there. It used to be like diving into an aquarium, but it really has taken a beating.

It’s really sad. It’s awful what humans do to things. I mean, people come in and don’t know what they’re doing. They drop anchor on the reef and things like that. In my industry the boats and crews are adamant about preserving the oceans, but not everybody is so well-informed or well-intentioned. It also doesn’t help that cruise ships have been coming to places that are so fragile.

The Galapagos is doing it the right way. It’s very restricted compared to the Caribbean islands. There are times of the day when you can go each place; they only allow two boats at a time. We had a naturalist with us the whole time. We had to wash our shoes so we didn’t transport things from one island to another. So the sea there is very alive versus some of the other places that I’ve been that are more overrun with human life.

Luckily the Galapagos is not easy to get to, which is probably its saving grace. Even high-end clients who pay a lot and who are used to doing what they want understand that in the Galapagos the rules are not going to bend for them. So the people who really want to go there are into the environment and the science. Hopefully it will stay that way.

Do you consider yourself rooted in a place, or are you more of a nomad?

I love being near and on the water. It’s funny how acclimatized I’ve become to it. Now being on land feels strange to me. I fell in love with sailing so now I’ll always be close to the water and sail as much as I can.

Rhode Island is my home base. Newport is the hot spot for the yachting industry, and I just love the culture here. I’ve lived in Florida and in Boston, but I love four seasons and I’m not a big city person. I’m originally from Massachusetts, so to me New England has such charm; it’s always been the place I want to come back to.

My boyfriend just bought a sailboat and plans to sail around the world. My business is really mobile; I can talk to clients a variety of ways. So I potentially could do the trip. At the very least I can fly in a bunch of times and stay for a month at a time.

I don’t think I would uproot myself again, but I have a simple life, a small apartment, a used car. I probably won’t buy a lot of stuff ever again. Living on a boat makes you simplify; you see that you don’t need a lot of function. I’m trying now to not just acquire stuff that I don’t need.

What’s the best way for women who haven’t sailed to get into sailing?

You can do it a bunch of different ways. You can participate in a learn to sail program, locally and vacation-wise, including a sailing program for women. You can put a group together and charter a boat.

I can put a family on a nice little catamaran for just about the same rate as a trip to Disney. It’s a bonding experience. They can only get on the internet sometimes. They’re not constantly on their phone. Half of our boats have skippers who are certified to train someone to be a sailor; others have cooking courses. So for one week, you do everything together. Because in a family everybody can get so frazzled and disconnected from each other, I think people are longing for that.

Because there are no decisions to be made; everything is decided for you. And it’s not like an a cruise ship where you’re herded from place to place with a hundred other people. People arrive stressed out — especially when they come in from places in the northeast like NY. On any trip, yachting or otherwise, it usually takes 3 days for people to unwind.  Yachting fast-forwards it a bit because you’re barefoot all the time; you’re never in a car or stuck in traffic. You’re unplugged and your outdoors. It’s really eye-opening. Especially with sailing, where there’s no engine, it’s so peaceful. After a week, the stress has drained from their faces and they look like different people.

I’ve never had someone come back from one of these trips disappointed.

Learn more

Have a question for Sue?
leave it in the comments below!

farm volunteers sit around a table preparing food

Volunteer abroad on the cheap

I spoke with Justine Trubey after she got back from 3 months of volunteering in Cambodia. Intrigued, I decided to look into how you can volunteer abroad on the cheap.

Many programs charge participants a hefty fee to be a volunteer abroad. But not all of them! So save your money and check out the volunteer abroad opportunities below. With most of them, you’ll still need to pay for your travel, insurance, and incidentals. But at the very least, your housing (and often your meals) will be covered.

Perks and responsibilities vary widely. So before you make a commitment, be sure to read the fine print and get answers to your specific questions.

Moving Worlds connects volunteers with organizations around the world. Organizations are looking for a wide range of skill sets include accounting, architecture, brand design, business strategy,  public relations, engineering, conservation, and more.
Bonus points: You’ll get to use your professional skills to make a difference. Moving Worlds offers training and support to help ensure that you’re able to make an impact and solve real problems during your time as a volunteer.

HelpX lists organic farms, home stays, lodges, hostels and even sailboats where short-term volunteers exchange usually 4 hours/day of work for room and board.
Note: You can browse the listings, but you must become a HelpX member before you can apply.

Peace Corps has no age limit. So if you’re a U.S. citizen and considering changing careers, retiring, or making a change, why not consider the Peace Corps?
Bonus points: Your service can last from three months to two years. You can choose the country you want to serve in. You can serve with your spouse or partner.

United Nations Volunteers Program
Though most are 6- to 12-month appointments, there are also short-term opportunities for qualified volunteers who provide technical expertise, knowledge and resource management, and other specific skills to support the work of nonprofit development organizations worldwide.
Bonus points: Living allowance, settlement and resettlement grants, travel and insurance are provided, depending on the type of appointment.

International Executive Service Corps (IESC) seeks mid-career and retired volunteers to provide businesses in developing countries with the knowledge and tools they need to thrive. Must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident.
Bonus points: They’re also looking for experienced people to serve as paid consultants.

Canadian Executive Service Organization (CESO) seeks senior-level professionals from the public and private sector to volunteer and share their skills and expertise to empower others. Must be a Canadian citizen or permanent resident.
Bonus points: International assignments cover flights, room and board, per diem, insurance, and vaccinations.

Help Stay
Find opportunities at farms, retreat centers, hostels, surf lodges, vineyards, ranches, and schools worldwide, where you can exchange a few hours of work for accommodation and food.
Bonus points: Want to make craft beer in Ecuador? Want to volunteer at a ski lodge in Japan?

WWOOF connects organic farmers with volunteers who exchange 4-6 hours of work per day for room and board.
Bonus points: The length of your stay at the farm is negotiated between you and your host.

Workaway is a community that enables you to volunteer around 5 hours a day in exchange for room and board from a few days to a few months.

Related Resources

boats in the water, Chiang Rai, Thailand

Solo in Southeast Asia: Awkward and Extraordinary

Justine Trubey recently returned to the States from southeast Asia. If you’re interested in traveling off the well-worn tourist path and have questions about personal safety in places where you don’t speak the language or even read the alphabet — read on!


Justine Truby with Nhean Phoung Maly

Justine with Rachna Satrei’s founder, Nhean Phoung Maly

I was 47 and I was totally burnt out after 4 years working at a startup. I realized that I’d done all of these things for myself around the betterment of my career and my family, but nothing towards the betterment of society.

As an executive in publishing, I spent a lot of time trying to get brilliant, educated, accomplished women to believe in themselves. I decided to take some time to see what women’s empowerment looks like in a different environment.

Looking for volunteer opportunities, I found Rachna Satrei, an NGO in Cambodia with a mission that matched mine exactly: Women’s empowerment through economic independence.

In Cambodia, a poem called the chbab srey (or “norms for women”) has taught for centuries that women must be subservient to men. This has been passed down from generation to generation. So the woman who founded Rachna Satrei is stepping outside of the norm.

During my time there, I raised a good deal of money for the organization. I worked 5 days a week, and usually went out at night. Compared to working at a startup, it felt like a part-time job!

After volunteering in Cambodia for 3 months, I visited friends in Europe. While there, I met a guy who rode his bike from Switzerland to Cambodia. He inspired me to want to experience a place that deeply. So I went back to southeast Asia and did a solo motorbike tour.

When I told my husband that  I planned to do a solo motorbiking trip, he was terrified I would come home broken or in a box. But at the same time, he didn’t want to be the reason that I didn’t do it. So he’s glad I did it, but he’s also glad it’s over.

It was absolutely terrifying. But it was the most incredible things I've ever done. - Justine Truby

Instead of riding a 700-pound European bike like so many foreigners, I chose a Honda 150, which was small enough that I could pick it up on my own. Still, the motorcycle trip was scary all the time. It was absolutely terrifying — much more dangerous than I even let on to my husband. But it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. And I’m living a better life as a result of it. My friends notice that I’m different now; even my voice is different!

I did 2500 miles in 19 days. I was so scared all the time of dying so far from home, scared of getting flat tire or hitting a kid or a dog or a chicken. Mostly I was afraid that I would get knocked off my bike and really hurt and broken in a way that would keep me from living this amazing life that I realize that I have.

Was it easy to meet people?

I’m insanely social. I’m pretty gregarious and fearless when it comes to meeting people. But I didn’t meet a lot of people while I was on the road. It’s really hard to meet locals when you don’t speak the language, and there weren’t a lot of foreigners where I went. In my day-to-day life, I was craving that interaction I’d had back in New York: the inside jokes, the puns, the wise-cracking, the easy back and forth.

Every Aussie ever and half the europeans do this loop in southeast Asia or doing a year-long bike trip. When you’re on a motorcycle you’re part of that group. And we were really happy to meet each other when it happened, but we’re all kind of doing our own thing. And I was at least 20 years older than almost all of them!

So even though communicating with friends and family back home is simple now — thanks to WhatsApp, FaceTime, and all the other ways — I still went through periods of deep longing and loneliness.

At one point, I even got on Tinder to find friends!

motorbikes and bicyclesDid you ever feel unsafe as a woman alone?

Overall I did not feel unsafe.  My solo trip was scary not because I was a woman alone, but because I was going down steep hills where I was literally sliding off my seat, with traffic weaving around me, people walking into the road, buses turning, surrounded at times by tuk tuks and bicycles, the dirt and the gravel, a little kid who runs out in front of you, a noodle truck turning a corner suddenly.

The only time I felt super uncomfortable being a woman alone was in Bangladesh. I was meeting my friend Tom at the train station there. It’s a muslim country and I know I look like a foreigner from a million miles away. So I tried my best to dress appropriately. I had a scarf on my head and was covered in loose clothing. A man came over to me and asked why I was in the country. Pretty soon, there was a crowd of people, mostly men, asking me why I was in the country, surrounded by them felt insanely uncomfortable. After a while, another man came over and made them move away. That was the only time I ever felt uncomfortable.

What were some of the downsides?

Eating on the street, I’d often end up with this crazy food and not know how to pay for it. I felt overwhelmed all the time. I had a day where I hated everything that I’d loved the day before. I screwed up the traffic circle, with horns beeping all around me. I couldn’t get my noodles without the egg in it. I was overwhelmed by loneliness. I was pissed that I didn’t understand anything!

Fortunately, that feeling didn’t last more than I day for me. I learned to say to myself, “Okay. Today sucks. Totally. So hopefully tomorrow will be better.”

And because Thailand is so affordable for a Westerner, on an especially crappy day, I could decide to eat a grilled cheese sandwich and a milkshake in an air-conditioned restaurant instead of eating my usual fly-covered pork on the street.

Even though I was wearing body armor, boots, and long pants, I burned myself on my motorcycle. The burn got terribly infected, so I went to a wound cleaning clinic in Thailand, which ironically was pretty dirty, not what you would expect a medical establishment to look like.

I was sick a lot of the time; I lost a lot of weight. I wore the same three pairs of underwear — inside/outside, wash and wear. I spent a lot of time hating myself for not being part of the negotiation society. I felt stupid bargaining over $3, which was not a lot of money to me. But I also felt not bad bargaining over it, when I was culturally required to do so.

At any other time in my life, I would have fought against making big cultural mistakes. But when you decide to go somewhere that’s really different, you have to appreciate what they’re doing and know your place in it. It’s not your place, so of course, you’re going to fuck up all the time.

What was your typical day like?

On the motorcycle trip, I’d ride all day, get off the road at around 4 p.m., then read, and shower. Then I’d find a restaurant or bar to hang out in that evening. Sometimes I’d meet with people, but mostly not. I’ve been married for over 20 years, so I’m used to collaborating. I sometimes wanted someone else to choose where to eat at night.

It wasn’t hard to find places to stay, find gasoline, or get fed. Every little town has a store with a stand with little Jack Daniels bottles filled with liquid; that’s their gas station!

Generally, I smoked too much and drank too much. But really during the road trip I could do what I wanted. If I wanted to stay up until 1 a.m. dancing in a reggae bar at 105 degrees, I could do it. I had nowhere else to be. No one needed me; no one wanted to find me. It was spectacular fun to have that for several months.

What was the food like?

Thai food is the best! It’s much, much, much better than Cambodian food. I love to eat on the street, and I will pretty much eat anything, try anything unless I already know I don’t care for it, like stuffed frogs. So much Asian food is take-away. People often don’t have a kitchen, more like a shed in the back with a gas burner and charcoal.

Every time I went to the market in Cambodia I’d swear I’d never eat again. The smells! The flies! On the other hand, it was important to see where your food comes from: That is a pig; this is what that person has done to it; this is the meat that results from what that person has done to the pig. Americans are good at ignoring where their food comes from. But it feels more honest to me to see that stuff up close. It’s just not always that appetizing.

There’s a lot of ritual around food. Everyone has a house that has a little box in front of their house, so you know they’re serving something. They take some broth and noodles and put it in a bowl with vegetables and pork balls and some sauce. It’s two ladies who made this stuff in their backyard.

Even in Buddhist countries, when you try to order something vegetarian you’ll sometimes see a fish eye floating in your broth. But what do you do when your boss gives you a special treat of lung and heart meat skewers? And what do you do when your tuk-tuk driver takes you home to meet his mother, and they have no money, and they serve you something. Do you eat it? Of course, you do! To refuse it would be a huge insult.

What’s next for you?

I had plans to travel to South America, but a friend in L.A. offered me a job opportunity with a huge social mission that was too good to pass up. So I came back to the States to start that job. I’ll be in Los Angeles for the next year; my husband plans to be here at least half of the time.

This is the fourth time my husband and I have lived apart. But we’ve been married for 22 years and we have a commitment in the traditional sense. It’s the most fantastic thing to do your own thing and then come back together refreshed and happy.

What did you learn? 

I learned an enormous amount this year. During the trip, I realized the stupid good fortune that I have as an American, and second a white American. I have a greater appreciation for the agency and choices I am able to make as a result of where and how I was born.

This was also a chance to be anything that you want to be. For instance, I’m a planner, so I got to experiment with what happens when I don’t make plans. What happens when I’m just planning the night beforehand? I’d figure out where I wanted to go next, and how many days I wanted to stay. I really challenged myself to go where my feet led me. I learned that it often costs more money that way.

Justine’s advice for women considering going to southeast Asia

Embrace the extraordinary awkwardness at every moment! I think you’re going to have a less stressful time once you drop the expectation that you’re going to understand anything that’s ever happening.

When my mom was visiting me, we took a bus trip. At one point, the bus pulled over and the driver got out and walked away. My mom was like, “What’s happening?” And I said, “I dunno.” He got back on at some point and we carried on. She asked me, “What just happened?” And I said, “I dunno.”

And my mom loved it. She said, “Why didn’t anybody tell me!? This is the coolest place ever!”

Southeast Asia is amazingly accessible. Depending on where you are, you can choose to use your money to live on any level. You can use your money to live like a westerner, get massages every day, you can absolutely do that in Thailand unless you’re in remote areas. You can splurge and instead of $16/night for a hotel, you can pay $20/night to get air conditioning. You can eat local or not. In Cambodia, you can live very comfortably for $500/month.

Here’s my advice:

  • Eat on the street.
  • Accept the awkwardness and sink into it.
  • Don’t be afraid to fuck up or look stupid.
  • Don’t think you are going to understand everything.
  • Love the fact that it’s never going to go the way that you expect.
  • Think twice before riding any two-wheeled vehicles. But if you aren’t afraid of it, it’s an amazing way to get around.
  • Be open to what you see.
  • Respect the culture and try not to piss anybody off.

Related stories from Justine